Thursday, November 15, 2012

Catfish, The MTV Show - Inspriation from Stupidity

I've been inspired by Catfish, the new series on MTV.

Yes, I really just said that.

I've been told ad nauseum to start a blog presumably so that the greater world out there can share in my sharp intellect and entertaining interpretations of life in general and crack a smile. But I demurred - I have a pre-schooler, a husband, four lizards, an insane amount of family, a full time career in the internet marketing world, and a really bad habit of acquiring (and subsequently disposing of) new, and oft-times, really stupid "hobbies" (like 4 lizards) - I am way to busy to share my commentary with the world at large.

Till I watched Catfish the TV show.

The episode is linked above, but I'll save you an hour of your time - Nev Schulman, a director (erm, guy with flipcam) fell in love with some hot chick named Megan on the internet who was, in actuality a not-hot hen from backwoods Michigan. Nev saw some deep meaning in this experience and made a "documentary" (it's so scripted) about it. Now, to really drive the point home that it's very easy to lie on the internet, MTV has commissioned Nev to create a series airing every Monday night at 11.

For the pilot episode, we meet Sunny - who looks precisecly as you expect a "Sunny" to look - (if you're relying on my synopsis, rather than watching the actual episode, note that she has a deep Southern drawl to top off the package)
 Sunny, (who has a sister named Summer just as an interesting side note) is dating Jamison, aka RJ King. RJ King is a male model who lives in LA, has 3 dead sisters, works holding cue cards for the Chelsea Lately show, and studies online to be an anesthesiologist while he's not shuffling around the world on modeling gigs. They're oh-so in love - except they've never met in person.
 
 
So, enter Nev. Nev and Sunny have a conversation about Sunny and RJ's relationship. Sunny gushes over how in love they are. Despite the obvious, Sunny does not doubt for a moment that everything RJ has told her is true.
 
Nev and the co-director Max go back to their hotel room and discuss how there "seems" to be some holes in RJ's stories. They do some hard-core detective work that would put Sherlock Holmes to shame, such as calling up the Chelsea Lately show and asking for a reference for "RJ King", googling "RJ King", and calling RJ himself and asking where he stays when he's in NYC ("Manhattan" is the answer, if you're curious). They also find out his 3 dead sisters are very much alive and well. It's elementary, my dear Sunny.
 
 
 
Finally Nev, Max their flipcams and the professional TV crew take Sunny down to Tuscaloosa, where they've arranged a meeting with "RJ" while he's in town visiting friends. They arrive at the house (erm, shed), to have the door opened by RJ -who is actually:
 
Chelsea Browning. Chelsea waddles out the front door in basketball shorts, a t shirt and soccer sandals with a satisfied smirk on her face. Sunny furiously and incredulously interrogates her before storming off.
 
Nev speaks privately with Chelsea, where she admits (cue in the violin chorus) that she was bullied in high school. That's her explanation. No, really, that's her explanation.
 
The show ends with a recap that Sunny is dating someone new (not online) and Chelsea has founded an organization called "Win From Within" and is now a anti-bullying activist (which, from what I can see from Google means she posts memes about not bullying people on her Facebook page).
 
I've seriously never seen anything quite so stupid in my life. So stupid, in fact, that I created a blog to tell the world how idiotic I think it is.
 
A few key things to take into consideration:
 
  • Why is bullying the new 'get out of jail free' card? Chelsea doesn't have a severe personality disorder of some sort - she was bullied, for Chrissake! She deserves our sympathy, not our scorn. Please - Don't people teach their kids to fistfight anymore?
  • While everyone's too busy coddling Chelsea's desperate need for attention and asking why Sunny couldn't see through the landmine's in this story (who uses cue cards?), it seems to go by the wayside that there actually IS a male model named RJ King out there. And he has three sisters (who are not dead, by any means) - none of whom have ever met or even interacted with Chelsea. They've all alluded via Twitter that this impersonation has caused their family a ton of grief - why is no one pressing charges for identity theft and/or slander?
 


  • What does the word "activist" really mean nowadays? How, preciscely is Chelsea an activist? How is she in any position to be an activist when she's clearly nowhere near sane enough to even keep one personality straight for a day?
  • Why did Sunny's parents name one kid Sunny and the other Summer? Are there any other siblings?
  • People can't really study anesthesiology online, can they?